Ok so since I read The Fault in Our Stars, I've been thinking about my biggest fear. Augustus fears oblivion, which I totally agree with, but I don't quite feel as strong about it as he does. I understand the fear, because oblivion, in my opinion, could, if it wanted to, totally drive someone so insane they die.
Also, the other day I got asked my biggest fear and I didn't have an answer. Of course we all have fears, you know the typical ones: spiders, clowns, the dark, monsters, death. You may argue death is scary, but honestly if everything happens for a reason, death falls in that category. It's hard to explain, but you die when you die and you can't stop it. Sure medicine can help, if it's a medical problem, but medicine isn't life's answer. Everybody was put on the Earth for a reason, and no matter how early or late you die, or how it happens, you made an impact. So death is not a big fear to me. Don't get me wrong, death is a sad tragedy that shouldn't be joked about and the value of life is so precious, but in my opinion, it's not the end.
I could go on and on, but my biggest fear is fear itself. Before you judge and say that it doesn't work like that, let me explain. Fear gets in your head and tells you you can't do anything. It cripples inside you and takes over you. You aren't really afraid of it. No ones actually afraid of anything, it's just your head and brain and heart or anything else telling you you're afraid of it. Fear gets to me, too, of course, but you have to figure out a way to get around it.
Worry, along with fear, is among my biggest fears list. Because I'm afraid of fear, I worry, way too much. I worry about the stupidest things. I try to tell myself that it's ok. But you know what it's like telling a teenage girl to calm down and that's ok, it just doesn't work. So the only thing I have found that works is procrastinating. I put everything in the back of my head and then by the time what I'm procrastinating about has come, it's too late and I'm already doing it, if that makes sense. So I've come up with an "equation" for what this has come to.
Fear = Worry = Procratination
So now that I have been able to rant about that, I already feel better. Thanks for reading and leave comments about your biggest fear or if you agree or disagree with me. Bye!
~AmazingPencil
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